A Nook with a Tilted Lamp

August 25, 2010

Coping with the not-so-golden path

Filed under: Uncategorized — by justatiltedlamp @ 3:47 am

I’ll be the first to admit that I was not entirely thrilled to graduate. Change and Becky do not cope well together. Of course, I eventually manage. That week at tennis sleep away camp the summer before high school left me hiding in the hallway so I could ease my sleepless nights by reading (my roommate, who never conversed with me, logically prefered our room’s lights off while she slept). But I survived.

Eventually, I learned in high school that hiding away in the library was not the fast track to making friends (…well, the librarians adored me), I ventured out and eventually slipped into the “Hallway Gang.”

I spent the weeks before college began making myself sick with anxiety. What if my roommate did not like me? What if she didn’t understand that I need light to sleep? (I actually had to start using a nightlight in college. It’s so not my fault. You see, my bedroom at home is located adjacent to the kitchen. The kitchen light is never turned off in our household. The need to have my room visible whilst I sleep has been engrained into my system!) Luckily, I ended up with the very best roomie ever.  Seriously.  Megan wound up one of my closest friends. That would be a post entirely unto itself.

Right. Graduation. This leaves me in the muddle of what comes next. Terrifying. I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. Can I skip that assignment, please? Oh wait, that doesn’t work now. I do have a better idea of what I’d like to do now. I was lucky enough to land a summer internship in the right industry, albeit, not exactly in the right department, which proved educational and full of unpaid labor. It was worth it. Except now that it has ended, I’m left in the muddle of applications that is what follows. I tentatively apply for jobs and focus mostly on internships, since I obviously need more experience before I go busting through any doors. The amount of work you have to do just to earn the right to do free labor for folks is kind of astounding. First, you write your cover letter and refine your resume. Then there are various tests. And interviews. And you are desperately trying to prove that you can do this. You are the qualified person they want to share this wealth of knowledge with.

Most of the time, it doesn’t work out in your favor. (Well, my favor. Maybe you’re having more luck.) It’s tiring and frustrating. You take what you can from each failure, building up your experience and gradually learning how to better prepare and present yourself with the hope that next time will be the acceptance.

And, in my case, you blast your “Will Make Me Feel Better” playlist. Most likely in the shower. Working those air guitar and brush!microphone skills.  And to be honest, it does make me feel loads better. These are songs that reboot my system.

Without further ado: Becky’s Will Make Me Feel Better playlist! (Not guaranteed to work for anyone else. This sort of thing has to be personalized to the listener’s tastes.)

1. It’s My Life – Bon Jovi

“This ain’t a song for the brokenhearted. No silent prayer for the faith departed. And I ain’t gonna be just a face in the crowd. You’re gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud.”

How can this /not/ pump you up? What’s that world? You think I suck? Well, IT’S MY LIFE, and I’m going to shout it and not be depressed and keep on going no matter what.

2. I Kissed a Boy – Cobra Starship

“Yo, check it out I’ve got a plan, here’s my intention. The frat boys in the club are lame, let’s start an altercation.”

…Um. A spinoff of “I Kissed a Girl,” this song offers a wonderful dick of a guy. It helps to vent your inner unpleasant person.

3. Until the Day I Die – Story of the Year

“As years go by I race the clock with you, but if you died right now, you know that I’d die too.”

This is totally a pairing song. I listen to it, and the lyrics triggers books. Today, it actually brought to mind The Hunger Games.  Probably makes sense since I basically plowed through the books in a single week.

4. A Girl Worth Fighting For – Mulan

“In our thundering herd we feel a lot like cattle. Like the pounding beat, our aching feet aren’t easy to ignore. Hey, think of instead a girl worth fighting for.”

Disney! Disney always makes me feel better. I’m going to pretend that I’m worth fighting for, crossdress, and join the Chinese army.

5. Spare Me the Details – Offspring

“My girlfriend, my dumb doughnut went out to a party just the other night. But three hours later and seven shots of jäger, she was in the bedroom with another guy.”

This one’s pure rage and frustration with a sprinkling of humor. Plus I get a kick out of how my last name is mentioned.

6. Pyramus and Thisbe – Zelda Williams & Parker Croft

“If we offend, we’ve got good will. If we are crude, our measure’s plain. Our true intent is your delight. It’s merry, tragical, and brief.”

Tragedian Shakespeare meets rock. Bring it. (I later learned that Zelda is Robin William’s daughter. She clearly inherited the talented genes.)

7. Predictable – Good Charlotte

“I’m doing everything I should of, and now I’m making a change. I’m living today.”

Channels my teenaged angst. Y’know, before life really got hard. Man, if young me only had a clue.

8. The Wizard and I – Wicked

“Once I’m with the Wizard my whole life will change ‘cuz once you’re with the Wizard no one thinks you’re strange!
No father is not proud of you, no sister acts ashamed, and all of Oz has to love you.”

Appreciation for your talents! Making your family proud! It could happen, right?

9. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic – Sting

“Every little thing she does is magic. Everything she does just turns me on. Even though my life before was tragic now I know my love for her goes on.”

Cue me pretending that I’m chock-full of magic and awesome.

Thus ends my playlist for now. It evolves with every new hurdle.


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